I wrote the free-form poem in the winter of 24/25 as an apology to the Universe, God, and everyone who stepped in to help during a family crisis. Consumed by anxiety and my own assumptions, I started acting like a jerk because I didn’t have enough answers and my child’s health kept declining. It took someone with both kindness and blunt honesty to call me out and reset my attitude. The poem also serves as a personal reminder not to be a butthead to those offering help and who have more knowledge and experience than I do. A lesson I’m still working on.

Sure, the poem could use edits and revisions, but honestly, examining my cognitive biases during a medical fiasco (shortly after losing many friends and family members) and putting it on paper was a victory in itself. I think it’s “good enough” as it is and worth leaving alone.

The wingless dragon symbol came from a gift that medical staff gave my son, which my son believed would heal him.

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Angry over previous attempts at medical intervention,   

Unrelenting distrust, for I too studied as long as you.   

You had it good, I lived on the streets.   

Surfer dude with an MD, me – no money to proceed,   

Only a master’s degree, you – saving aborigines?  

Angry accusations under my breath born of fear.  

Which women did those looks charm to get you here?  

Counterfeit merits, achievements unearned.  

Remembrance of reptilian snakes, thoughts left undiscerned.  

Both with premises the same, differing in diagnosis,   

Time and time again.   

Until one day, our truths aligned – strangers in the same place.   

Everything I’ve feared, coincidentally, is a reason we’re here,   

To heal the issue or squash the fear.  

Revelations unveiled, a Chthonic descent,  

A crimson dragon, wingless, flipped my world,  

God-down in the forsaken ghost town,  

Humbly crowned, it swooped in,  

A red herring, tearing my reality apart at the seams.  

Bleeding biases and bad dreams,  

Leaving nothing as it seems. 

My illiteracy and ignorance peaked above murky waters,  

Through the experiences of another I cannot challenge.  

A straw person’s attempt to retrieve a piece of myself,  

Found again in a once vowed enemy, now a living hero.  

Humbly, my heartfelt apologies I now share,   

For being sharp-tongued, judgmental, and unfair,   

To a soul far greater than I could ever compare.  

Thank you for the perceptional tear, 

That freed me from an endless nightmare.